1. |
Wonderful Life
04:42
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Smiles cease.
We're seeing what we want to see,
and needing what we want to need.
its spinning in my head.
But she smiles
for everything that's done to me,
for times of her indecency,
for things we never said.
and i go...
Everything is wonderful
Everything is beautiful
Grasp light, and don't you ever let me go
well did you ever care to know?
as frightening as this seems
Storm clouds.
It's just another summer gale
and im just a ship without a sail.
Take water over me.
Everything is wonderful
Everything is beautiful
Everything is wonderful
as im drowning in this sea
Everything is beautiful
Everything but me
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2. |
Nada
03:16
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the only one i couldnt know is just the one i need to
faded with my childhood glow, its just the one i bleed to
crash crash, a simple sound and you expect to lead too?
for all the things that we have missed
the mask i used to peer through
for all the burdens ive been shown
and all the bullshit i have known
for all the thoughts im fearing
as into the mirror im peering
it doesnt matter much to me
nothing
nothing
youre nothing to me
clouds streak a painted sky, i touch the stars and burn through
cursed, fall, and now i die
about time that i loved you
for all the burdens ive been shown
and all the bullshit i have known
now you know me inside
just as i thought i would hide
it doesnt matter much to me
nothing
nothing
youre nothing to me
nothing
nothing
nothing
nothing
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3. |
Stillborn
03:55
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I have no love to call my own
and i am standing now unknown
in my dreams im dying young
stalling peace idle and dumb
have i been dying since i was born?
what is this cloud thats hanging over me?
a quiet voice that whispers in my sleep
the opportunist of my soul to keep
she stands under darkened rays
i feel the fury of her gaze
she guides my hand to show the way
along this wrist to end these days
have i been dying since i was born?
well find me guilty, erase all of me
soothed by sounds of her sweet harmonies
the siren song of stopping agony
thats all there was
not a word was said
but i hear my angel call
but she is predator instead
have i been dying since i was born?
im only standing till she sets me free
unholy but shes all i need
you cant sway me from this beast
shes always on my mind
shes always on my mind
shes always on my mind
shes always on my mind
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4. |
Night Thoughts
03:26
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sleepless nights
are you lying there alone?
its better not to know
i catch a glimpse, reflections of the one that i called love
its funny how the ones that we keep so just wanna run
i suppose its all ive done
its all on me, im the reason theres noone
so i peel, and shape, and fornicate to feel what has gone numb
numb
but im numb
what would i do to make things new
go back to meet you, and start again
what would i do
what would i do
to make things new
and start again
what can i break?
nothings healing on its own
and i cut you to the bone
time and time i told my killing kindness to hang on
and find a light in the people who have learned
but my mistake
i just cant fake the times that ive been burned
burned
but i burn
what would i do to make things new
go back to meet you and start again
what would i do
what would i do
to make things new
and start again
sleepless nights
are you lying there alone?
its better not to know
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5. |
Prelude To A Moment
01:35
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you taste sweeter to me
than anything should be
and my obsession is your mystery
and id throw it all away
to have you just one day
but my addiction is my misery
and i wish you could know
but my darker side i will not show
and i wish you could see
the kind of man i meant to be (in me)
but the shadows remain
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6. |
Moments Of Weakness
06:08
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step into winter, the sun isnt shining
i dont think that it will for days
well how can i smile when my deep denial is constantly consuming my brain
well i swore that i loved and i held you above
and everything was just as it seems
but the crack that appeared had been buried for years
awakening us out of our dreams
i gave into questions without any answers
too late to just state that im scarred
so i choke and i feed on your chemical seeds to reel me back in from afar
what to do? what to say? will we ever be ok?
im still reeling from the tear in my heart
as that sickly small spider spins to defy her
how far we all fall from the start
and as moments of weakness arise
these times are defining our lives
what could be wrong that feels so right?
maybe ill wake up to find that im dreaming
im hoping this more all the time
but still you step through like quite often you do as the victim in all of your crimes
my breath's growing colder
an old dried up spirit is taking the place of my past
and my youth that long died, i remember his cries
as he says its all over too fast
and as moments of weakness arise
these times are defining our lives
what could be wrong that feels so right?
silence voices of reason
i give in, give up, give out on you
and all i am and all i hold with all my heart and all my soul
i gave into dreams i wished were true
still believing in life like i always do
and for what? do you know? do you care? can you even tell?
dont you see youre infecting resolve?
i hope that you see just how much you mean
today and tomorrow
forever ill be just waiting on wings
to save you from sorrow
somewhere a spirit runs
a glimpse of what i will become
somewhere a spirit runs
to turn me to smiles
as addictions i lay to rest
as addictions i lay to rest
but you
not you
i just cant lay you to rest
to turn me to smiles
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7. |
Hiraeth
04:25
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empty pages lay before me
a story told but never read
a guiding light streched on forever
is it a distant star, or gaslight on ahead
in my heart i ring out hollow
in my heart im never true
cause theres this hole that ive stopped healing
cause theres this hole thats shaped like you
and on the way i step into the fire
to see what ill inspire again
but either way i wont survive this fire
but rise to something higher
on my way to you
its what i do for you
how many homes have i left to travel?
how many times have i believed?
how many threads have come unraveled
as i search for things my eyes may never see?
and on the way i step into the fire
to see what ill inspire again
and either way i wont survive this fire
but rise to something higher
on my way to you
its what i do for you
a hand to hold no ghost may be
a vapor trail of apathy
a fever dream or sucker love
this welcome void
my heart belongs to you
my heart belongs to you
and every step i take
for you
the shadows long i make
for you
from the depths of my desires
for you
to the greatness of your spires
for you
i cast my yawning gaze
for you
and fill my glamor days
for you
this sick without reprieve
for you
consoled by make believe
for you
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8. |
Smoke And Mirrors
04:09
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frightened by the sound
afraid of any condemnation
from far beneath the ground
home of our dark celebration
we are surely ours
and surely we are all forsaken
forgotten by our gods
as we all scream of our significance now
but we are nothing now
didnt want to see it all go down
didnt want an angel like you found
didnt want the glory of the round
but i am grateful
and we all surely go (if just to go)
and we all sure know (if just to know)
but we all surely fail
and its our time to be borrowed
scared of waking dawn
cause in the night we found our favor
never looking on
the bitterness we learned to savor
far from what is seen
blinded to the visionaries
entombed within a dream
we all scream of our significance now
but we are nothing now
just smoke and mirrors
give us back
give us back
we all saw the sun
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9. |
Celestial Magick
03:15
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was it fate that stepped me out, or that stepped you in?
i poured out like my faith and still you took my hand
and i know im flawed
so isnt it odd
that i feel whole
and we sit under the canopy
and youre a magick that was needed in this place
the stars alone could call you here
to bring the radiance of your beauty to this place
and i rest at ease
well a Virgo knows (they say) the devil all too well
for in the details lye all the facts that she could tell
but still youre sweet
and so complete
a perfect soul
and we sit under the canopy
and youre a magick that was needed in this place
the stars alone could call you here
to bring the radiance of your beauty to this place
and i rest at ease
we sit under the canopy
and youre a fire that i know will not go out
and should we ever part our ways
youll still be perfect, and of that i have no doubt
as you radiate your magick
you radiate
youre magick
you radiate your magick
you radiate
youre magick
you radiate
you
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10. |
By Inches
03:57
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connections come into play
clumsy fingers brighten the day
distractions
give our time expecting of thanks
eyes on the prize, not watching the flanks
reactions
till fate comes softly with swords
what was gentle amassing as hordes
till blackened and taken away
gone tomorrow
my hearts built to filter the pain
bare and witness malevolent strain
fast forward the verdicts the same
gone tomorrow
and were all walking away
unique and yet somehow the same
we all take a number and wait for the fade
we measure our time by the day
we measure our value by pay
i wonder will i make a change
will someone remember my name?
tired fences trap in the dawn
dried out footprints muddy the lawn
decisions
look around for a reason to stay
but lost and dried out are gone to decay
forever
im sick, and healing is fake
every breath just another mistake
for all the shit ive swallowed
i still feel hollow
i mourn the hearts yet to break
and were all walking away
unique and yet somehow the same
we all take a number and wait for the fade
we measure our time by the day
we measure our value by pay
i wonder will i make a change
will someone remember my name?
and who we are
we keep it bottled
who we are
we keep it bottled
who we are
dont keep it bottled
measure our time by the day
measure our value by pay
i wonder will i make a change
will someone remember my name?
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11. |
Roaming
07:40
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the grey and misty streets
they welcome me with reverie
so long been out of reach
the forlorn loss and memories
the sweet embrace of sleep
the only arms that carry me....to you
that face i cannot bare when i wake
this year has been a life time
for the sorrow i cant shake
what do you want from me?
was there a price that i could pay to make you see?
what do you want from me?
maybe love is not enough because its free........for you
i know im just a man
thats nothing in eternity
so i drink and curse my hands
for the sips that spill authority
ideas all lost in thought
beliefs are all for naught
theyre all vain
as my desires slip away.......away
and im roaming all alone
because to me youre still my home
what do you want from me?
was there a price that i could pay to make you see?
what do you want from me?
maybe love is not enough because its free
i close my eyes and slip away
another breath im forced to take
exposed my heart, its all a waste
what do you want from me?
was there a price that i could pay to make you see?
what do you want from me?
maybe love is not enough because its free
what do you want from me?
did it ever mean a thing? did it ever mean a thing to you?
what do you want from me?
im exhausted, uninspired, and my heart still bares these scars
and im so weak
so what do you want fro me?
what do you want from me?
and im so damn tired
and im so damn sick
and im so damn tired
and im so damn sick of it all......
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My Blue Hope Charlotte, North Carolina
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